On this blog you will find articles about financial domination (findom) addiction with some cross over to gooning addiction. All articles are written from my personal point of view and are based on lived experience and research. Unless specifically referenced you should not regard any of the writings as scientific.
I should note that there is addiction both on the end of submissives and on the end of dominants, and that these pages will generally focus on addicted submissives. If you are a dominant and believe you have a problem with findom feel free to reach out on my Twitter. Although I’m unlikely to be able to help you myself, I may be able to connect you to people who can.
You might have some questions…
Why do you write articles?
These articles aim to inform, to create awareness, and for addicts who still suffer to find help and connection. There are few informed and balanced sources of information on findom addiction on the internet. Most articles approach the subject simply as a cringe topic and as such they strengthen stigmas.
Why write about findom addiction?
The bdsm kink of findom has grown exponentially between 2010 and 2020 and continues to do so. There are many bdsm kinks that are provided for a fee as a professional service, findom differs in that money is part of the kink itself. It cannot come as a surprise then, that this primed the kink to be corrupted by commercial interest. Furthermore, the tangible self-destructive effect of losing money can and should be seen as a form of self-harm. And as addiction by definition entails self-harm this draws many addicts to the kink.
Why you?
Having been active in findom for over ten years and having taken a multitude of therapies for the addiction to it, I’ve experienced and seen the effects of addiction to findom, again, on both the submissive and the dominant side.
I’m also keenly aware of the importance for addicts to understand the addiction and to feel understood. Having attended SLAA for years I’ve found it can be difficult to connect – even though SLAA is probably the best match of all Twelve Step programs. Others at meetings mentioning things like: harassing or stalking women; returning to toxic romances over and over, generally does not resonate with addicted finsubs. SLAA members may relate when we talk about spending nights behind the computer or when we did a cashmeet (they’d compare that to paying for sex). But when we mention being tempted out of our money, getting into arguments (subconsciously) to be drained more harshly, blackmail, or homewrecking, the average SLAA member often doesn’t understand why we got into these situations. Then in turn we feel a disconnect, which doesn’t help our shares in the group. You may find though that other SLAA fellows will open up about submission and dominance after you do.
I’ve had much support from SLAA, multiple sponsors and therapies. I’m grateful and want to give something back. I try to offer hope, help, and recognition to the addict who still suffers. I’ve found, as many an addict in recovery does, that it is together that we can recover.
All my knowledge on addiction and recovery is self-taught. I also have well over a decade of lived experience of findom addiction. I’ve had multiple therapies from both licensed and unlicensed therapists, and have discovered that lived experience isn’t just important, it is vital. But to put it in Baz Lurhmann’s brilliant words: the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
Why me?
I probably don’t know you, but hi there. I’m glad you are reading this. That doesn’t tell me much, but it does tell me that you want to learn more about findom addiction. And that’s a good thing, whatever the reason.
Are you struggling with it (as either a submissive or dominant)? You can only begin to see where you stand if you understand what you are doing. Digging into literature helps. From there you may start to see where you need to go. The fact that you are reading this is a good sign that you are taking action. And it is a big step.
Kurt – Recovery from porn and findom addiction 